Captain Dan and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

      It began well before daylight.  In fact, it began hours before Captain Dan awoke. I know.  I was there nestled within the bed sheets when I heard him yelling in his sleep, as usual with his mouth shut.  As First & Last Mate I am fully able to decipher his words of rage even with his mouth closed having heard the like countless times before.  Captain Dan was annoyed by a catamaran that had, in his estimation, anchored too close to Exit Strategy.
     At sunrise he left the bunk and poked his head up into the cockpit.  The familiar rant sounded again.  I got up as he was putting on the coffee and asked what the problem was.
     “Some cat dropped anchor next to us in the middle of the night!” 
     “Yes, you had a dream about that last night.  I heard you yelling about it in your sleep.”  I said.
     “No, there really IS a cat next to us and he’s too dam close!  His anchor chain woke me up.”
     I peered through a porthole. Sure enough, it was just as the Captain had said. Why do I ever doubt him? Hm-m-m, time to change the subject. “It’s time to listen to Chris’s weather report.”  I turned on the SSB, but all that was audible was the perfect pitch of crackle…buzzzzz…and some faint, distant Oriental sounding chatter.
     “That’s going to be of no use today,” snapped Captain Dan as he depressed the power button.
     Next subject- “Well, we’ve got errands to do today to get ready to start heading north tomorrow. I want to get a few groceries at the IGA.  Do you have anything we need to get?”
     He had just looked out the porthole again and sighed heavily. “I need to get the diesel jerry cans filled.”
     Now both of us were in the cockpit with our coffee.  We noticed that the dinghy needed to be baled out again after last night’s rain. The Captain put down his coffee and climbed into the dinghy.  The gunnel on which he sat felt mushy.  I watched him press on it harder and saw bubbles escape toward the stern.
     “WHAT the F---?”  Upon closer inspection, his fingers located a small hole near the seam at the back. “How did THIS happen?!”
     “There was an awful lot of junk floating by last evening after that downpour.  Maybe something punctured it.” I offered.
     “Get me the air pump from the locker,” he ordered. I found the pump and handed it to him.  He attached the hose into the gunnel and began pumping vigorously.
     SHF-F-F-F…
     “NOW WHAT!” He bellowed as the hose connection hissed and split open at the pump. “Get me some tape!”
     Aye, aye Captain!
     The repair was made and the dinghy held the air long enough for us to reach the fuel dock in the harbor.  We had to pump the dinghy up again before we could safely make our way back to the boat. After unloading the fuel cans, we prepared to hoist the dinghy out of the water for the fix.
     “YE-OWW!  SON OF A – !” He winced in pain.
     “What happened?”
     “I stubbed my dam toe again.”  Oh, no- I thought. He’s been stubbing that same toe at least once a week for five years!
     Now back below, “This is ridiculous!” the Captain fumed as he tore apart several lockers to find the dinghy repair kit. The directions indicated that the patch would need to cure for 24 hours before using the dinghy. “I can’t fix this until we’re done running around today!”
     We hurriedly readied to go for groceries and launched the dinghy again, traveling with the air pump. On the way to the bus stop, a bus driver hailed us and we clarified that we were going to the Wall Street roundabout.  There was only one other couple on the bus who had gotten off the cruise ship.  I commented to the driver that he was not on his usual route today as his posted number was 7 and we were on Route 1.  It was then he said, “I guess you didn’t understand what I said when I stopped for you. I asked if you wanted a TAXI to the beach.”
     “No, we’re going to the IGA.” When we reached our destination, Captain Dan handed the driver the usual bus fare of 5EC.
     The driver respectfully pleaded, “Man, I said this no bus today. Taxi fare is 10EC more.”
     Captain Dan pointed to the number 7 Route label and responded, “No you’re not.” But he reluctantly gave the driver his due after a word from me.
     As we approached the IGA Grocer, Dan headed to the ATM while I continued on to get groceries.  I had already completed most of the shopping and began to wonder why Dan hadn’t met up with me yet. I bumped into him when I turned down the last aisle.
     “You won’t believe this!” He cried. “At the ATM the receipt came out first and then the 500EC, but I was looking at the receipt and the cash went back into the machine!!”
     At that point, I confess I did something totally unbecoming of any First & Last Mate worth her salt, but I just couldn’t help it.  I started laughing uncontrollably, just as I’m doing now recalling it.
     “So,” he continued, “I had to go into the bank and stand in a line behind twenty people to see if I could get it back!”
     Somehow I composed myself and asked, “What did they say?”
     “They can’t refund it until they audit the machine and that may take up to a week.  So we need to stop at another ATM by the roundabout before we get on the bus. There’s one there that doesn’t charge a $5 US fee.” However, when we got there we discovered that the no fee ATM was not open, so we had to use another that did charge $5 US.
     Thankfully, the rest of the day was uneventful and we were revitalized when our friends on sv Suzanne ferried us in their dinghy to a relaxing, delightful dinner at The Nutmeg Restaurant, a place I’ve always wanted to go.

Beverly and Lew of sv Suzanne